maculategiraffe:

OK but the thing about the Marie Kondo thing, is that when I’m thinking about everything in my house in terms of whether it makes me happy, I remember that me being happy is important and good? 

Like, so often I’ve framed my messiness and lack of organization as me being a failure, falling short of some abstract ideal.  And the idea behind so many of those cleaning shows, like Hoarders and whatever, is that you can’t live like this because it’s disgusting and you should be ashamed.  But if you’re depressed and anxious, being shamed doesn’t motivate you to be better; it just reinforces the idea that your life is a nightmare you can’t escape because you’re too [lazy/stupid/worthless/ugly/unloved/unlovable] to do the things good, normal people do to make it OK. 

(And this is a number my mom did on me too, or exacerbated at least, because this is how she treated cleaning– still does, sadly– in that “get rid of the couches, we can’t let people know we sit” way, where when people are coming over, or when a fit of bad mental weather is coming on, you suddenly put the shame glasses on and things that were OK a minute ago are suddenly filthy and disgusting and how can we live like this, it’s because we’re bad people, quick make it look like we don’t live like this so no one will know how bad we truly are.)

I’ve literally never thought of cleaning/organization as something to do for myself.  Making my house a place that makes me happy, a place full of things that make me happy, where I don’t have to panic when I need or want something, because it’s not buried under a pile of random crap I hate but can’t deal with.

But it seems so simple, once you start to think about it this way: This is my house.  Nothing belongs here that doesn’t serve the purpose of my joy. And the things that do bring me joy, belong where I can find them, clean and cared for, when I need them next. For me, because they’re mine, and it’s hard enough in this world, and I will cling to and fight for and look after what sparks joy.



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QS