i stroll into the little saltwater store in the city. a border collie comes barreling over and begins nibbling my toes through my open heels. the dude behind the counter introduces himself and asks me if i have any tanks at home or if he needs to set one up for me. i tell him that i have 16 tanks and ask him if he has any personal ones before he can comment on that number. he proceeds to say “yeah, i have a 120 in my office. it has a clam in it.” i cautiously respond “oh, a clam?” and he whips out his phone which already has a livestream up on it. it’s centered on the biggest clam i’ve ever seen, just chillin’ in this tank and taking up half of the available floorspace in a 120 gallon. “that’s my baby,” he says, and points at the unholy bivalve in case i didn’t notice it on my own. there are now two border collies snorfling at my toes while i stare in awe at this dude’s gigantic fucking clam
Op is he single
idk but i’m wondering if my guy would mind if i left him for a positively stunning clam
Date him to lull him into a false sense of security and Steal His Clam
Clam Theft Auto
velvyx liked this 
winter-orchid liked this 
sixshooter665 reblogged this from that-crazy-goldfish-lady sixshooter665 liked this 
coolstoriesye reblogged this from caecilius12 
calciumironsilicate liked this 
anacardentaleandsucrose reblogged this from hungwy anacardentaleandsucrose liked this 
wcrmboy reblogged this from that-crazy-goldfish-lady wcrmboy liked this 
queerlytired liked this 
isa-fox reblogged this from loekas 
spritespi liked this 
kittenonabender liked this 
ditz-world liked this 
stilltoolazy liked this 
legendarymzfit reblogged this from belovedsterek 
magicfox17 reblogged this from breadisgodisbread magicfox17 liked this 
breadisgodisbread reblogged this from popular-to-contrary-belief 
jellybeansmemes liked this 
the-real-dannix liked this 
popular-to-contrary-belief reblogged this from sakizen popular-to-contrary-belief liked this 
sakizen reblogged this from iboatedhere 
color-me-paranoid liked this 
lorrainebattaglia liked this 
iboatedhere reblogged this from belovedsterek 
belovedsterek reblogged this from acercrea 
nolongeraduckling liked this 
wings84 reblogged this from bubblegum-gf wings84 liked this 
not-a-herb liked this 
i-say-oof-alot liked this 
bubblegum-gf reblogged this from caramel-mousse bubblegum-gf liked this 
caramel-mousse reblogged this from ariibees 
brownbirdtown liked this 
fandoms-fiend reblogged this from mostly-vo1d fandoms-fiend liked this 
mostly-vo1d reblogged this from acercrea belovedsterek liked this 
acercrea reblogged this from loekas 
toshikogalanodel reblogged this from loekas toshikogalanodel liked this 
loekas reblogged this from arialis loekas liked this 
sweetladywolf liked this 
arialis reblogged this from bubblybumblbee 
in-for-ma-ti-on liked this 